What Men Can Learn from Romance Novels

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about SEX. How's that for directness? But what does that have to do with romance novels and men?

Well, does your wife or girlfriend have romance novels sitting on her bookshelf or in her e-reader? If so, you might want to find out which ones are her favorite and peruse the pages. Between the covers of those books, you're going to find what makes her tick. I'm not suggesting renting a suit of armor and wearing it around your house just because she happens to favor books featuring knights, or donning a kilt because she loves Scottish warriors; although, the kilt thing could work in some instances. I am suggesting, however, paying attention to how the male protagonist seduces the woman and pleasures her in those romance books. 

Women write these novels for other women, and we keep buying them. We love the stories. We love the happy endings. We love the strong heroine, and we love how the male protagonists seduce the heroine. Don't we ladies? 

In her favorite romance books, you may find a few commonalities between those male leads and the way those men make love to the heroine. The most universal approaches are:

1. During foreplay, (Come on, you know that's a necessity, right?) the pace the lover takes will be painfully slow. Mmm-hmm. Take what you think is slow and revise your expectation to twice that. Your twenty minutes equals her forty minutes or there about. The lovers in the novels take their time making the woman feel as if he's not in any hurry to stop what he's doing, and while they are in that bed—shower, elevator, where ever—she is the center of his world.
2. This next one goes hand-in-hand with being an unhurried lover. Most of the males in the many novels I've read—and they are from the more popular novelists so I can say for certain I’m not the only one this works for—touch everywhere except the naughty bits. Yep, I’m sorry. Be a tease, blokes, because sometimes nothing works better than denying or delaying what she wants. It seems to increase pleasure. Taking a tour around her body but detouring before heading to your ultimate destination will probably have her wiggling in an attempt to get your hand to touch the very spots you’re refusing to caress—temporarily. This is good. For whatever reason, it's like throwing gasoline onto a fire. Don't believe me? Try it one night. You'll know when the detour should end because she'll be panting and might even utter, "Please, [insert your name here]."
3. Slower, usually is better. I know you think I've already talked about this, but no. I'm referring to the moment the detour ends and you’re on your way to the ultimate destination (still on foreplay here guys). Slow it down. Her body needs time to adjust and set a rhythm. Going like a rabbit only works if you’re battery-operated. I know. I don't understand it either. I feel for you.
4. Once foreplay is over, gentleness may not be necessary. You've rounded your bases, and are heading for the home plate. Start slowly. Don’t worry; you’ll pick up the speed very soon. After all, you’d rather be naked in bed with her than mowing the lawn or sitting on the couch watching TV. So, start slowly, but unlike #3, when you increase the rhythm, harder may be better. Read the books. The words are 'driving', 'plunging', 'thrusting'. That's not gentle. They didn’t start out thrusting, or if they did, it’s because they’ve already worked each other into a sexual frenzy and can’t wait.
5. Here’s one last piece of advice that right from the page. Moan. Yes, I said moan. Do this throughout the lovemaking process, not only at the end. Let her know you're enjoying it. So, what do I mean? Is it a turn on when she moans during sex, or when pleasuring you? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, yes, it is. A moan coming from you lets her know, “That’s the right spot, don’t stop,” or when you're pleasuring her, “I love seeing how much you enjoy this”. Hot. If you’re enjoying it, let her hear it. Not all ladies want to talk, but many will appreciate the occasional audible groan or moan.  

That's it gentlemen. Maybe you’re lucky and don’t have trouble getting her into bed, kudos to you and to your lover, but many poor blokes try their hardest only to find their lover wasn’t fulfilled. Most of the time, it's not you, it's her mind. Our minds love to taunt us and at the worst possible times. There's very little you can do when that happens, unfortunately. But trying these five things can't hurt, and if she has fun trying, she might be more willing the next time.

 

I do feel for you chaps. Trying to figure out how to get us to the big “O” and what will make us more willing to have sex, can be mind-boggling, but when you find what works, gentleman, we are ever so grateful.

If you liked this article, let me know in the comment section. Keep it clean ladies and gents. I’m not into talking dirty (although some ladies are).

D. A. Rhine is the author of the paranormal romance series, Vampires of the Chesapeake, and the novella, Lost in Transylvania. She lives in the U.S. with her husband and two children.